Posted on: 2015-09-20 by Guest

This dream started out, with me barging into my dorm room. I had just returned from some outing (maybe some sporting event), that had me very angry, for some reason. The Hallways were crowded with people. Guys, mainly. In fact, I don't remember seeing any women. the closer I got to my room, the more crowded, it became. I could also hear a regular fuck-fest, happening in all the other rooms. The thought of some drunken, co-ed's getting it on, in my bed, was making me even more enraged. Having to force my way into my own room, was pushing me over the edge. Shoving, bare chested collage punks, out of the way, I made my way into the room. I was on fire! The Incredible Hulk's got nothing on me, at this point! That is, until I catch a glimpse of what's actually happening. I force my way to the front of this wall of collage guys, only to find that the mattresses of both beds have been pulled to the center of the room. One or maybe two girls, are being worked over by several guys at once. the one young woman that I fixate on, is totally naked, and covered with semen. Two guys are holding her, and maneuvering her into different positions. Two, or three other guys are either having sex with this chick, or stroking themselves, waiting their turn. That's when I realize, that all these assholes, aren't here for a peep show, but are just waiting their turn. I try to shout, over the panting and groaning, to see if she is ok. I don't know if she needs help, or is here of her own accord. My mind, screams at me to Save her, but the fact that she might not need saving, is keeping me in check. I finally catch her eye, and the look that I get, tells me everything and nothing, all at once. I see a scared, and hopeless young woman getting gang-raped, continuously, by several people. In the same glance, I see a working girl making more money, in a few hours, than a whole month of waiting tables, or cleaning hotel rooms. That maybe, it's none of my fucking business, other than it, unfortunately being my room and my mattress. This whole scenario was making me feel extremely hopeless and lost. Not only, because some young girl was maybe having her innocence, quite literally, stripped from her, but also because I couldn't tell the fucking difference. My dream morphs here, as they do, and I'm leaving the same dormitory, at some other time. There are shadowy people, talking and joking in the hall. Once outside, I see an old friend, walking with some others. I ask him where the hell, he's been. He tells me he's been right here, the whole time, and asks me, where the fuck, have I been. laughter ensues. I follow them down a path, listening to them laughing and cursing each other out. Some buffoon, in a toga, grabs me and pulls me into the field. we have a mock battle, while everyone laughs. I end up being knocked down, breathing heavy, laughing, myself. Good times, I guess. The dream morph, yet again. The departing scene, is of me looking up at some sort of cheap, Christmas decoration. definitely plastic, maybe a wind chime or mobile. it's foggy and unclear enough, that I believe that I'm looking through glass, into someones home, from the outside. There are twinkling lights and I hear, muted carols being sung by angels. It is cold outside, looking in. I feel that half remembered, peaceful feeling of belonging. Of feeling loved, while waiting for the assurances of that implied unity that is gained by ripping through gaudy packages, and beholding the temporary bliss, that one gets from such things. I know that I am looking into the happiness of someone else, though, I can only feel loneliness, remorse, and sorrow. I feel like I will never understand women, and I see that all things that I did in life are affected by this inability to grasp, even a tenuous hold of the workings of the fairer sex. I can't shake the feeling that everything wrong with my life, stems from this fact. I make no advances. I stand back, and let life pass me by. I'm weak. I am a coward, and I have , only myself to blame. Fin.