Posted on: 2016-01-24 by Guest

Last night I had a dream that [insert name of direct marketing cosmetic company] had gradually turned into an adult sex shop without me noticing. The latest deluxe range of [insert name] cosmetics had knobs and ribs on them, and the mascaras and lipsticks seemed rather larger than they used to be. I thought, "what a great idea!" because now you can use your makeup to masturbate with. Then I noticed that some of the cosmetic products were actually shaped like penises, and lying around where family could see them. So I started putting them all in a big plastic store bag. Then I noticed that one of the items was actually an 8cm diameter monster dildo, and I thought "that's not [insert name]..." Then I realized it came from that open shelf next to the guest bed, where all those sex toys are on display. Then I remembered that that shelf with all that stuff on it was already there when we moved in, but for some reason we'd never cleared it. Then I woke up laughing. IMD