Posted on: 2016-06-12 by Guest

Well, hello. This is my first time. I have thought a quite a long time about what I’m about to do. It isn’t anything spectacular or noteworthy. I just wanted to share one aspect of my life. A series of dreams, to be precise. Maybe you could suggest an explanation or something a long of those lines about these dreams. Some additional information: These dreams started around when I was 8 years old. I haven’t ever been afraid of dark. At this moment I’m 19 years old. For past 6-7 years I have been practicing lucid dreaming, and have reached a point where I 90% of the time realize that I am dreaming, when I am seeing a dream, and then I am able to control the dream. Dreams are a really big part of my life, and I remember at least 2-4 dreams each night. I have always been able to wake up at my will or control my dreams and nightmares, well, at least for the past 6-7 years, but I have never been able to control the dream I’m about to tell you about. So about the dreams: Well, it is more of one dream. It has just repeated itself on multiple occasions. The unsettling part is that last few times, it has started from the point where it was left off. The dream itself is always taking place in my apartment. It is consisting from one 6m long corridor. At one end of corridor on the right side is my room, which is about 6x7m big with balcony, the door is located in the left corner of my room, so that means that my room extends beyond the corridor. Right after my room, there is living room, which is about 5x6m big. At the end of the corridor kitchen is located, and on the left side there are 2 small bathrooms. (One has a shower). In the dream I am always at the corridor. It is night outside, pitch black. Every room has its light turned on. Then one of the lights goes out. At that point I am starting to sense a skin crawling feeling of something you could describe as a mix between despair and dread. I go to one of the bathrooms, which has a closet of lightbulbs and take some to replace. Usually the first light goes out at the living room. One of the interesting details, when the light goes out, the room is taken over by a normal, ordinary darkness. Nothing odd about it. I go and replace the bulb and turn on the light again. Then another one goes out. I do the same. Replace the bulb and turn it on. Then more lights go out. I try to replace the bulbs, but eventually I run out of them. As more of the rooms light start to go out, the darkness begins to change, it becomes like something material. Thick, hard. The light from any other sources of light can’t penetrate it. Eventually the corridor light goes out and I retreat to my room and close the door behind me. There is always light in my room (probably something to do with my brain viewing my room as a safe place). Then the sense of despair and dread gets stronger. I can always feel something behind the door. Lurking, waiting. Then I start to feel a really peculiar thing. A sense of utter and unstoppable fear. Not the kind you would get from a machete monster chasing you, or you drowning in a metal cage from which you cannot escape. No. The fear I’m talking about utterly crushes every other sense at that moment. For the first few times I decided to skidazzle-the-fuck-out-of-there by jumping out of the window. Then the dream ends. At least that’s how it ended the first few times. During next few years the dream started the same, but there were few variations of the ending. At one time I somehow overcame of feeling of but-clenching-dread and stooped changing the light bulbs. Big mistake. Eventually all lights went out and darkness enveloped me. Pitch black. No more than a half second went by that I was lifted from the group and started getting choked. At that point the dream ended and I saw multiple nightmares in which I got tortured, killed, organs ripped out etc. One other time I decided to stand my ground at my room. Another mistake. The light didn’t go out. Nether it did any good. After resisting the need to jump out of my window, the door exploded off its hinges and was thrown across the room. At the same time the darkness, like thick smoke, with black tentacles went right after my neck. Same scenario- got choked, and got a mouthful of not-so-pleasant nightmares. Now. About one experience which stands especially. But I will have to sidetrack so you fully understand it. About lucid dreaming and me. As you might know. Lucid dreaming focuses on getting you in a dream, but while you